Goodbye Crystal...now you have wings.

It has taken me a while to post this. We said goodbye to our dog, Crystal, on May 7th. It was one of the hardest things we had to do.

The weekend before, Tatiana made Crystal this great doggie "cake". It had lunch meat, dog food, dog treats, and was "frosted" with peanut butter which is one of Crystal's favorites! What a sweet girl!

Crystal enjoyed her cake and her party. She received lots of attention. We did the party on the day I had my leg surgery so that is why I am being lazy in the hammock with my leg up. We didn't want to wait any longer because we didn't know if she would decide to pass on her own and we would miss out on this memory with her.

One last family picture with Crystal on May 7th.

On the day we had to put her down Nathan, Nick, Tatiana and I actually went horseback riding (I'll post about that later). We came home and went to check on Crystal and I started to bawl pretty hard. (the above picture is after I had been crying some, but I wanted a nice picture with her)Nathan said it was time and he hooked on her leash and led her to the van.

Ben was the only child who wanted to come with Nathan and me to the vet. The other kids said their goodbye's and stayed home. I am so glad that Ben came with though. He was my ray of sunshine in a very dark time. Putting her down was the hardest thing I have ever had to do (not the hardest thing I have gone through, but the hardest decision I had to make and follow through on). I talked to Ben and all the kids before we left and it went something like this...

Me, "Crystal is really old and her body hurts and she is sick. So we need to let her go live with Jesus now."

Ben, "Will Jesus make her body better?"

Me, "Yes, Jesus will make her body all better."

Ben, "Will she run again?" (He even recognizes that she isn't the same anymore.)

Me, with tears welling up in my eyes, "Yes, Ben she will run again."

Ben, happily, "Will you take her running when your leg feels better?!"

Me, "No, she cannot come home. She has to stay with Jesus."

Ben, contemplates for a minute, then lights up with an AH-HA face, "Oh, because she is going to have wings!"

Me, pulling Ben into a hug and tears freely falling now, "Yes, because she will have wings."

I go on to tell him that Jesus and Uncle Chris will take care of Crystal now. Ben was very excited about that and thought Crystal was quite lucky to be hanging out with those two! To Ben, this was all a very good thing.

So we left and went to the vet. And even though my little sunshine was there, I was still crying pretty hard. I wanted to just leave and bring her back home. But Nathan was right, she had suffered long enough. As I kept crying Ben would hug me and ask me if my leg hurt. I told him that it wasn't my leg that was making me cry, but that I was going to miss Crystal. He then said in an earnest voice, "But she is going to see JESUS!" This happened several times.

When the vet came in with the shots, this is the conversation that followed;

Ben, "What's those?"

Vet, "These are the medicines to help Crystal go to sleep."

Ben, excitedly, "Oh! So she can grow her wings?!"

Vet, puts her hand on her chest, "Oh my, you are so precious! Yes, sweetie, so Crystal can grow her wings."

She later told me that for now on it will be known as "the medicine that gives your pet wings".

After Crystal received her injections it was very fast and very peaceful. But I sobbed so hard. I was sitting on the floor with her and her head on my leg. She was gone. I had such a hard time leaving her. I wanted so badly to undo what had just been done. Just five more minutes! (I am crying so hard as I type this...) I kept petting her ears, those super soft adorable ears...I'll never feel them again.

A week later we had to get rid of her dog house because every day, several times a day, Andrew would want his dog (he thought she was just his). Ben would sweetly explain to him that Crystal is with Jesus now in outer space (that is his 4 year old understanding of where heaven is, cute heh). But every time my heart would ache and I would start to cry and Ben would ask me if my leg hurt or if I missed Crystal (such a sweet kid!) So we put the doghouse out front with a free sign on it and it was gone in a couple hours. I knew Andrew wouldn't stop asking if that doghouse stayed out there. It was too hard for everyone to see it. Now he is slowly forgetting although he does ask about her every now and then.

And every time we drive by the vet and Ben notices, he points it out and reminds us that is where Crystal got her wings.

In loving memory of a great dog!