my leg....

I had my VENUS leg surgery today and it went pretty well. I definitely hurt and I was most certainly nervous, but it went well and I am now home laying in bed with my leg wrapped and elevated. I feel like I have had my leg pressed through one of those old fashioned clothes-wringers that would wring out the access water from freshly washed laundry. Weird feeling, very sore. Ice helps a little though.

As I was having my procedure done the doctors were explaining to me why it was hurting more in certain areas and certain times and both things were a good bolster to my ego! Once was when they were feeding the the catheter up through my vein and it really hurt. They explained it was because my muscle was so dense and not allowing the vein to move around. It was hurting because it was rigid. So I have good muscle tone in my legs, thanks! The other time it really hurt was when they were shooting it with the heat, but only in certain areas. They explained that it was because I didn't have enough fat in between my vein and the millions of nerves just under my skin so I was feeling it with those nerves. They had to pump all this fluid into my leg making it look like an ugly bumpy balloon under my skin to separate my vein from the nerves more and then it didn't hurt as bad. It was VERY weird to watch and very painful to feel.

Overall it was an okay experience. So far, I think I will do the other leg (meaning I haven't been scared off yet and my recovery seems to be going well.) I was even able to walk out of the their office (okay so I was limping) but still a lot better than I feared may have happened.

Of course Nathan gave me a priesthood blessing to comfort me last night and I know that helped a lot! It was also neat to find out that one of the doctors is a member of our religion and we had that in common. Both doctors and nurses were so nice, competent, and skilled. I was in very good hands and I am grateful for an overall good experience.

Now as the numbing medication they shot all through my leg has completely wore off, the ice and pain meds are not quite cutting it. Hopefully this initial pain will not last long. OW!!!! I am suppose to keep this tight wrapping on for 24 hours and then replace it with the compression stockings and wear those for two weeks. I am suppose to keep it elevated as much as possible for the first day and then take it easy for two weeks. No running, yard work, etc. etc. That is why I have been busted my b*** to get as much done as I could over the past couple weeks. Now it is time to take it easy...if I have to! LOL!

Just some thoughts...

1. My boys, Ben and Andrew, are playing together so sweetly right now in the next room. I love to hear their sweet little voices and happy giggles. I wonder how long it will last...hee hee!

2. I love my family! I have been having a lot of "I am so "IN LOVE" with my hunny" and "I love my job (being a mommy)" moments lately. Life is good.

3. Still worrying day-to-day about our dog, Crystal. I am just worried one day we will wake up and she won't. Or worse yet she won't be able to stand up or do anything and I will have to carry her to the vet. We may be saying goodbye to her this weekend, or next weekend. I still cannot decide.

4. I am getting anxious about my leg procedure this Friday. I have talked to three people who have had it done so far. All three say the first 24 hours are awfully painful, one said that after that she was fine, the other two said it was a much longer recovery. Please pray for me! I NEED to be recovered before our trip on May 20th!

5. Nathan and I are getting SO EXCITED for our trip to Europe! We are planning, planning, planning. It is going to be so fun! It will also be an "amazing race" style vacation because we are trying to see so much in a short amount of time. I can't wait!

6. I have a busy day today. I need to get some house work done. The weeding in the front yard finished. Hope to go for a run with Andrew in the stroller while Ben is at preschool. Make zucchini bread with the zucchini I thawed out last night. Pick up the kids after school. Take us all to the ENT so Ben and I can both see the doctor for our ears. Then take Nick and Tatiana to their tennis lessons. Then to the dollar store so Tatiana can buy sunglasses for a prop for her upcoming music program at school. And this evening Nick has scouts. Oh, and somewhere in there we will eat meals, change diapers, read books and cuddle, etc. etc. etc. I am trying to get all my heavy housework and yard work done before my leg procedure on Friday because then I am suppose to take it easy for two weeks and not do too much. I am also trying to get some running in this week since I will not be able to do that for two weeks or more either!

7. We had Ben's hearing checked. He has significant hearing loss in both ears. There is fluid built up back there that is not draining so he will probably need to have tubes. Just in time for summer swimming and worrying about ear plugs...yeah (can you hear the sarcasm?!?!)

8. I have been having a painful and plugged right ear for over two months now. Today is my follow up to see if the meds are working. NOPE! Still cannot hear out of my right ear. I may need tubes too. We'll see. I was also diagnosed with TMJ problems. My right side of my jaw pops loudly every time I open my mouth. ANNOYING! Nathan is making me a splint to wear at night. Hopefully that helps.

9. The boys are still playing but I have noticed that they have moved to the kitchen table. I just heard Ben in a firm, but still sweet, voice say "Stop, I said stop bothering me. When I say 'stop', I mean 'stop', k Andrew? Look at me. I said, 'k Andrew'?" Then I hear Andrew say, "uh" and Ben says, "ok, good then, you learn to listen, that's good Andrew. Now you play with this, k Andrew." Andrew in a happy voice says, "mine!" and the fire truck siren is now going non-stop. Good times!

10. Life is good, life is busy, just wanted to share some thoughts this morning. Have a good day everyone!

A neat story to share...

I just had to share a neat experience I was privileged to have recently. Nathan and I were heading home from a date night on Friday, April 10th, when he got a call on his cell. It was an after hours emergency patient. A young teenage girl had knocked out her front two teeth with a soft ball! We went home (we were only minutes away), speedy-quick put the two little boys to bed and instructed the older two to put themselves to bed on time. (Nick was babysitting.) Then Nathan and I headed over to Lebanon.

This was my first time to ever assist Nathan in the office! It was not a great experience for this poor girl, but I had an amazing experience. It was so neat to see my husband at work, helping this little girl. It was so cool to see what he was able to do, to be able to help him. I took direction very well and we worked great together. The mom and and dad were both their with their daughter and they were very grateful. The girl was very brave. Nathan was very skilled and I was very impressed. The dad complimented us on how smoothly and well we worked together which I was very flattered to hear. We arrived at the office at 9:00PM and didn't leave there until 11:00PM (had to clean up afterwards and everything.) The neatest part of the evening was when both the mom and dad hugged me and thanked us for coming in on a a Friday night. I said, "of course! We were happy to help, it's what we are here for!"

Then, the next week, Nathan brought home this gift. A very nice "thank you" card and a "Angel of Remembrance" Willow Tree figurine. That was completely unexpected and unnecessary! But it is nice to know that we touched their family in such a way. I will always remember "my first patient!" Such a sweet girl who, thanks to Nathan, still has such a beautiful smile! Good job Dr. Tolman!!!

Now I look forward to being able to assist more and someday soon go on a dental mission with him!

Ben's Biddy-ball

Ben has started "Biddy-Ball" at the Boys and Girls' Club. It is a little sports clinic for 4 and 5 year olds. They learn to play basketball, but the hoops are lower and the balls are smaller. He loves it!

Here he is learning to guard...(white shirt, wearing the classes.)

Here he just shot the biddy-basketball. It was a great shot, you cannot see the ball because it is above the frame of the picture soaring into the basket! Way to go Ben!

Those are the only good photos I got so far. I was distracted with Andrew in the bleachers. Goooo Ben!!!!

Fun with Trains!

Andrew and Ben LOVE trains! They each have a wooden train set that they combine together to make some pretty awesome tracks. We were stepping over train tracks in the dining room for several days as they would build and rebuild into new and exciting configurations...boys have to have their fun!

Such a GREAT big brother!

I just had to take a minute to brag about Nick. He is such an amazing big brother and son! He has been babysitting for us lately and seems to love the responsibility and is really showing some great maturity. We have been very impressed and proud of him! He loves to spend time with his brothers and sister.

I snapped this picture one afternoon. I was making dinner and Nick saw that I was tripping over Andrew in the kitchen because he just wanted to be by mommy. So Nick, without being asked, took Andrew outside and put him in the swing and proceeded to play with him and make him laugh. It was such a sweet tender mercy that I had to capture this memory in a photo and share it with everyone!

Crystal...

I took these pictures about a month ago. You cannot tell how skinny she is in the photos, but you can kind of see her ribs and how she stands funny with her back legs. She is such a good dog!

Andrew REALLY loves her!

Tatiana's 9th Birthday

Tatiana turned NINE YEARS OLD this month! We cannot believe how fast the time has flown by! We had our family birthday party for her, but her friend party is going to be this Friday.


She requested her birthday dinner to be mommy's famous Chicken Enchiladas, Mexican Rice, Steamed Carrots, and Corn. Yummy!

For dessert she picked a new recipe she found in one of my books. We had Root Beer Float Cake with Root Bear Floats to drink! Cool!

She received some fun gifts from the family. Including some craft kits (like the Paperoni stuff) a new monkey t-shirt and socks (she loves monkeys!) and a fun accessory for her new Zhu Zhu pet she recieved for Easter.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TATIANA!!! WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!!!!!

Rock Climbing at OSU

Nick has been begging to go rock climbing for months but we are always too busy to go. Then a few weekends ago on April 10th, Nathan was at a dental conference and the kids and I had nothing to do so I thought, "Why does Nathan have to come with?" So I took the kids over to OSU myself and they had a lot of fun in the climbing center. We were there all afternoon. The kids had a blast and did very well! My neck and back were bothering me by the end from all the looking up as I belayed them both all day. And now I know why we bring daddy, because it is a lot of work to tie and untie each kid as the take turns back and forth climbing with only one belayer, me! It was a lot of fun though and we definitely want to go back more often.

Nick did some of the very advanced walls and was impressing the other older climbers!

Tatiana also did very well and would make it up further each time she tried. I was very proud of both of my little monkeys!

Sad news about our dog...

I am behind on some posts and have some fun pictures coming, but I had to do a quick post about some not-so-fun things going on right now. We have a great life, I don't mean to complain. But we also have to keep it real too. I have to record the good with the bad, the pretty with the ugly, so that years from now, when we read our blog book family journal, we can see how we came through things.

The biggest ordeal right now is about our sweet dog, Crystal. She has been such a sweet dog. She is so gentle with the children. She has never bitten, snapped, growled or even barked since we have had her these past 5 years! We took her in after she retired from being a sled dog in Alaska. She has ran the Iditerod a few times and is a sprint dog champion. She has lead a long and full life and has seen a lot. We love her. She is now nicknamed "Granny-dog" because she is about 13 years old.

She has been worrying us lately though. She has been losing weight, even though she still eats and poops tons! Her body is not keeping on the weight, or absorbing the calories, or something. She has lost 16 pounds in less than a year! She only weights 41 pounds now. The vet says she probably has some form of cancer and it is really pointless to put her through all the tests of finding out exactly which one. It could be skin cancer (she is a light skinned dog and has been in the elements a lot during her life), or bone cancer (her jaw bones are not holding in her teeth and they are starting to fall out) or it could be something like lymphoma. She also has severe arthritis in her joints. The poor thing couldn't even jump up into the low van, I had to lift our usually very active and athletic dog into the van!

She is also so depressed. She use to love to go for runs with me. Now half the time she refuses to even go for a little walk. If I can coax her out and get her leash on her she usually wants to turn back and head home after only a block or two. She cannot do the thing she loves to do, which is run. So she is just sad. She is in too much pain to enjoy it. It is so sad to be around her sometimes.

So the vet told us that she might die in the next few weeks, months or could live for another year or more, but slowly continue to lose weight and die on her own. The whole time she would be dealing with her pain and depression. Yes, we could give her meds daily, but who knows if it would really help. A dog cannot tell you that they need more or that they don't like the side effects. The vet advised us that it isn't a question of whether or not to put her down, but when to put her down. She said that at this point it is a question of her quality of life. We do not like to see her so sad and not being herself. We do not like to see her in pain. But we also cannot bring ourselves to do it. I really wish she, or God, would make this difficult decision for us. Then it would be very sad to lose her, but it wasn't our responsibility and burden to decide when would be the best time.

I think if we had put her down last weekend when the vet told us everything, we would not have had her with us this week. We have had some sweet moments with her this week. She really is such a good dog! I just do not know what to do! It is seriously bumming me out! And worse yet, it is depressing the kids. Nick, especially, is very bummed about it. We all know we need to put her down, but we keep thinking she has a few more weeks in her. But we also would rather say good-bye to our dog in a happy setting, then say good-bye to a dog who is so skinny, sick, and can barely walk, knowing we let her get that bad. I just don't know what to do! I know we have to do this, I just don't know when. Ben and Andrew really love her and would miss her when she is gone. They are around her the most during the day while the kids are in school. Tatiana is very sad about it, but said she doesn't want Crystal to be in pain. She suggested throwing her a "going away party" before she dies. She wants to make her a doggie treat cake frosted with peanut butter! Crystal would love that! It would be one more happy memory to take with her to Heaven. And we have talked about how Uncle Chris loves animals and would take good care of her for us.

Some days she acts better and I think there is no way we can put her down. Other days I think she is about to die on her own any moment because she looks so bad. Right now she is going back and forth. It is so hard to watch. I'll keep you posted...

Ice Skating with the Brownies

On April 9th the kids had no school (teacher grading day or something), so our Brownie troop went ice skating in Sherwood and we had a lot of fun! Nathan and Nick joined us and both did great! It was their first time on the ice...ever! Tatiana was showing off all over the ice! She grew a lot more confident than last year. I think all that roller blading may have helped. I was very impressed!

Having a snack after some serious ice-capades!

Having fun on the ice...

A spring picnic in Oregon!

We had one of Ben's little friends over for a play date the other morning. It was a nice spring day so we decided to pack a picnic and head to the nearby park. After playing at the park for about 15 minutes, the sky opens up and starts to rain! That is Oregon weather for you! So I put Andrew and the little friend back in the jogging stroller and put the rain flap over them, Ben gets on his bike and we hurry home. Ben is peddling like mad, saying, "Moooommmm, Hurrrryyyy!" I am running as fast as I can and we get home. We get into the garage, I get the kids out of the stroller, take Ben's helmet off, turn around and notice that that the sun came back out! Yep, we were caught in one of those 5 minute downpours! So, since the ground was wet, we laid out our blanket on the garage floor and had our picnic in there. Then the kids rode bikes, but this time we stayed much closer to home!

And I must say, Ben did great riding in that hard rain!

Tatiana's Spring Dress!

Here is the spring dress I sewed for Tatiana. I think it turned out great and she LOVES it! Isn't she such a pretty girl! She is our sweet little angel, we just love her SO MUCH!

My Easter Weekend...

Dealing with sick kids all week, was not easy. Even Nathan and I got it! It was a NASTY virus! When the weekend came and we still had sick kids, I was a little sad that Easter didn't go as planned. As a mom, we have our expectations of the holidays. We want them to be just so, to be a happy memory for our family. We feel solely responsible for providing the perfect atmosphere, the right food, everything that will create that memory. We feel responsible for making sure our children understand the true meaning of certain holidays. Christmas and Easter in particular. So when things do not go according to plan, you make a new plan. Our new plan was filled with love, tender mercies, and ultimately it extended our Easter longer than we usually do celebrations. It was fun (once everyone was healthy.)

And Easter weekend was also a very special weekend because we had General Conference! If anyone missed it, you can see and/or hear it here! I hope you enjoy it as much as we did!

Our re-Easter!

We had a "re-Easter" so the whole family could have all the experiences. We had Easter dinner on Monday night and did the "Resurrection Eggs" and we redid the Easter egg hunt on Sunday, a week after Easter. I hid 90 eggs! I had really hard spots for the older kids (above waist level) and more for the younger boys to participate again as well. It was fun!

I LOVE his cheesey-grin!

Ben is an old pro! He has been hiding and finding eggs all week with Andrew!

Tatiana showing the little boys where one is, what a sweet sister!

Nick, cool Nick, not wanting me to take his picture. Gotcha!

Easter Morning...for some...

By Easter morning both Tatiana AND Nick were sick. So just Ben and Andrew had the Easter morning basket find and egg hunt. They still had a great time!

Look at our Easter baskets!!!

Finding the eggs...

Happy Easter...for some of us anyway!

Coloring Easter Eggs!

We had the sickies going through our household the whole week leading to Easter weekend. On Saturday, the day we decorated eggs, Tatiana was the one being quarantined to her bedroom with the barf bucket. Poor girl. She got to decorate some eggs the next day though, no worries. Here are some cute pictures of the two little boys experiencing the magic of coloring eggs!

Happy Easter...we miss Tatiana!

Tears...a new perspective

I was browsing through some e-mails and links this morning as I waited for the kids to all wake up (because I am just too tired to do anything else) and I came across a most beautiful post. It has given me a new perspective on "tears". I wanted to share it with you all so I have copied and pasted a paragraph here...

Have you ever noticed the effectiveness of tears? An interesting thing happens with sincere tears. Generally they show up when it’s time to break a barrier. It’s nearly impossible to see our lives on the other side of tragedy. Sometimes it’s equally impossible to see ourselves on the other side of a miracle. Notice that tears come when the experience is at its most critical point—good or bad—the news of a tragedy, intense physical pain, childbirth, the feeling of forgiveness, or the return of a friend. Tears seem to blur our understanding of what is, just long enough for the world to shift. Once the tears are washed away, we stand in a new reality. We take a deep breath and move on. Tears are a gift from God.

You can read the whole post, entitled "Easter Tears" by Mark Mabry here http://deseretbook.com/time-out/view_post/91

I hope you enjoy!

Tapioca, oh sweet TAPIOCA!!!

I have the coolest sisters and one of them, Kimberly, has outdone herself recently. First I will give you the back ground story so you understand the significance of her awesome act of long distance service!

Here is some weird "Satina Tolman Trivia" for you... I love tapioca pudding! But I am also a Tapioca snob, it has to be JELL-O Tapioca from the box. It cannot be the pre-made snack packs, it has to be warm fresh tapioca, it cannot be out of the red box (I think it is called Minute Tapioca?) or any other kind of tapioca. It has to be the JELL-O brand, freshly made, still warm, almost hot, straight from the pot tapioca.

This is my "comfort food". We all have them, the foods that you eat when you are not feeling well, or have had a long hard day. As far as I am concerned, at the end of those long days or in the evening when I am fighting a cold there is nothing more soothing or satisfying than a bowl of my hot-of-the-stove, fresh JELL-O tapioca pudding!

As many of you who read my blog or talk with me frequently know I have been dealing with some illnesses and long days lately. So for over a month I have been searching for my tapioca pudding because I was out at home. I cannot find it anywhere! I have looked in every store here and they are always out. So finally I called the store closest to me and asked the man in charge. He said that he cannot get it anymore. I was devastated. I hung up the phone and immediately checked the JELL-O website, and guess what, no tapioca flavor is listed! What?! They don't make it anymore? Just then Kimberly calls and I tell her what a terrible mood I am in because I cannot get tapioca anymore.

This story is getting long, so I will sum up the rest... She is driving home from work so she turns around, goes to her nearest grocery store, goes in and finds my tapioca. (First of all, I am so excited that they have some on the shelf!) She asks me how many I want, I ask her how many there are, she counts them all and says there are 24 boxes there. I tell her to get me 20 boxes (I am trying to exercise a little self control and leave 4 boxes for the next customer, LOL!) She asks me, "Are you serious?!", of course I am. She is laughing the whole time, getting funny looks at check out and then heads straight to the post office to send me my stash. What a cool sister!!!! I finally get off the phone with her so she can drive. Later she calls back and lets me know how
much shipping was and also tells me how all the people at the post office got a great laugh out of her crazy sister in Oregon (she lives in the mid-west) and the weird fascination with this tapioca pudding. Well, I gave them all something to laugh about and take home to family dinner conversation, just doing my part to help out. *wink*

And a few days later I get my box of Tapioca in the mail from my amazing sister...
THANK YOU KIMBERLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And it tasted oh so GOOD!

March Running update

Running this past month has been a little slow. I started off the month okay, then we had illness plague our home. I ran 59.87 miles in the month of March. My year to date total is 146.14 miles! I have passed the first 100 mile mark! My longest run to date is 8.6 miles.