It's been a while...really hard week

After that last 'spur of the moment' post, I guess I should explain why I haven't been on here in a while. Life has just been too busy to get on the computer and when I do get on the computer I am actually working on Scouting stuff or something and don't have time to blog.

Last week was a hard week on me. It all boils down to a few events;

1) Too much to do! Fall is a beautiful time here in the valley, but it also produces too much to do, literally. My garden is needing harvested and put up. This year is actually a low year for it, but there is still plenty. My blueberries are still coming on like crazy and my strawberries are still going. Then when you have access to so much free produce around here it feels un-natural to not go pick and put it up. For example I have access to free raspberries, grapes, pears, apples, apricots, and blackberries. With a new little baby and a two year old under foot I didn't even have time to get to the grapes or blackberries this year! We put up four batches of strawberry jam, two batches of strawberry syrup, three batches of apricot jam and one batch of apricot syrup, two batches of salsa, one batch of applesauce. I have 4 gallon freezer bags full of blueberries in my freezer and I am not sure how many raspberries in there. I also have over 28 cups of shredded zucchini bagged up in my freezer all from my garden. And that is all in just one week. I haven't even finished yet! I guess I have bitten off more than I can chew, but our family will be grateful for all the yummy stuff all year long.

2) Loneliness. Yes, I know I have a loving family and great friends. That is not the problem. My problem is that the kids are in school! I hate it when they go back to school. The house seems so empty when it shifts from four kids to two. Ben does his best to try to keep the energy and noise level up to compensate. He is such a sweet heart!

3) Worry. This is the absolute worse part. I took Ben and Andrew into the doctor on Wednesday and got bad news for both of them. Ben needs to be re-circumcised!!! The poor little boy! This is going to be absolutely awful, there is no way around it and I am just sick to think of what he has to go through soon. And the doctors think Andrew may be having seizures and we are suppose to be keeping an eye on him to look for other signs. The good news is that his muscle tone and his reflexes are all fine. Often poor muscle tone or uneven reflexes are associated with neurological disorders. So we are hopeful that it is not seizures and something else that is no big deal or that he outgrows the seizures instead of them getting worse with age. The hard part is that people can go weeks, even months, between seizures. So it may be a while before we know for sure. I know people are going to ask why they think he is having the seizes so let me explain...

The reason I took him into the doctor was because he did this weird thing that really freaked me out. He did it 5 times. While laying on his back his fists would go up by his ears, his elbows would be pointing outward, and his head would go back like he was looking up. He would tense up his body and do a tiny quivering thing like when your muscles are being over-exerted. The worse part is that he would have a look of absolute panic and terror on his face and not breath. I would pick him up right away and he would start to breath and I would hold him and rock him for a while to calm us both down. He never really cries afterwards though. He will let out a little yell sometimes, but not cry. The doctors said that is sounded like a typical seizure to them. The next time he does it I am not suppose to do anything but watch and see how long until he comes out of it on his own (yeah right!!!!) and then see how long he is lethargic. Of course I am suppose to see if he truly isn't breathing or if his breathing has just slowed way down and is so shallow that is seems like he isn't breathing. If he isn't breathing then I would do something like I always do. Then after his next episode and finding answers to all these questions I am suppose to bring him in and they will run test on him.

I am so worried about both of my little boys!!! One is about to go through a very painful procedure because some stupid doctor didn't do his job right and my little boy keeps getting infections down there. Plus his potty training will probably get reversed! The other may or may not have a neurological disorder and we have no idea if he does have one which one it would be or how serious it will get. Oh, how frustrating.

So I had a really hard week last week. Too much to do, too much to worry about, and I miss my kids. Then this week starts off with a bad cold and being awakened too early. Yep, I have to complain sometimes.